It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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