i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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