Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
is wine microwaveable?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
