...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
