I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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