I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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