did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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