I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
