i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
do herpes really smell.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
