Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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