P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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