im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Can i not drive my cunt home
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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