I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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