im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
