you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
