I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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