if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
