i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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