I'm jealous of your bromance
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
