This is not my ceiling
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
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