So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
