It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
