i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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