Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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