Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I did not marry a roomba.
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