Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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