Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize