Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
