eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
dude. I can hear the air.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
