I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more