do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
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I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
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I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?