How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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