Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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