There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
