I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
