Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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