Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
