yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
