I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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