I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
