I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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