well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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