Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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