My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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