i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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