Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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