Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
