Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
