im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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