their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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