Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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