Just fell off a train. Bad.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
