Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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