**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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