that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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