I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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