I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
