Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
