You really coming over, don't trick.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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