I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
