I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
