my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
you win again, gameday.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Randomize
